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If Bergner is right, men's and women's libidos are far more similar than previously imagined.
If he's right, and the formidable data he marshals suggests he is, then our sexual scripts need to shift to accommodate this new reality for everyone's sake.
" The widespread coverage of Bergner's book raises at least the possibility that some men are. Though some women surely still want to play at passivity while men protect, provide, and perform, plenty more women want another "p" word: partners.
Flexible, unintimidated, and (as Bergner shows) playful partners in the bedroom, in the kitchen, and in public life.
"The sexual landscape (remains) ruled by male desires and insecurities," Amanda Hess writes in her .
It is those insecurities (and the specter of the violence into which those insecurities sometimes erupt) that keep men from having their sexual desires fulfilled.
"From sex to fighting, from child-rearing to chores, they must hammer out every last detail of domestic life without falling back on assumptions about who will do what." Bergner's considerable data suggests that when it comes to initiating sex, straight men and women will be a lot happier if they follow the lead of their gay and lesbian friends.We're not sure who should be the sexual instigators, and then no one really steps up to the plate.That explanation appeals, but it also rests on a false assumption that the risks of playing "instigator" are equal for both sexes. Selector .selector_input_interaction .selector_input. Selector .selector_input_interaction .selector_spinner. Selector .selector_results_container.form_buttons.form_buttons a.form_buttons input[type='submit'].form_buttons .submit_button.form_buttons .submit_button.form_buttons .action_button.hover_menu.hover_menu:before,.hover_menu:after.hover_menu.show_nub:before.hover_menu.show_nub:after.hover_menu.show_nub.white_bg:after.hover_menu .hover_menu_contents.hover_menu.white_bg .hover_menu_contents. 2 View All Next »I want to introduce you to someone. She’s geeky to her Joss-Whedon-loving core, a Whovian, Vertigo-reading, 3rd edition D&D (none of that 4th ed crap thank you very much) gamer with the con stories to prove it. While it’s true that many men will use it as a polite dodge to avoid saying “I’m not attracted to you”, when it comes up over and over again, it’s a sign that maybe there’s more to it.