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Before you contact another potential date, be sure to consider Lamb’s seven tips below: Yes, communicating online is a fact of life, but remember that with instant responses and on-the-go Internet connectivity comes the possibility — or even likelihood — of missing some of the important nuances found in nonverbal communication that often tell us more than words can, Lamb cautions. The bottom line is, the chance that your date will interpret that electronically delivered message in the exact way you intended it are sometimes slim.
In order to avoid sending your date the wrong message, Lamb recommends using face-to-face communication when there is great emotional content to your message, or your message requires a “human moment.” Lamb says that texting is great for a quick note, such as “I’m thinking about you,” “You’ll do great in your presentation,” or a simple “Good morning.” Email, she notes, works best for the exchange of factual information — such as where you’re meeting that night and the directions to get there, or noting that your sister is allergic to strawberries so your date will know to avoid bringing strawberry shortcake for dessert at her house this Saturday.
“Face-to-face communication is best for discussion, negotiation, and getting to know the other person,” Lamb explains.
And remember: unless you’d feel comfortable with it being forwarded around to people you don’t know or posted on the front page of the newspaper, never put your words in writing.
When you’re ready to arrange your first meeting with someone you’ve met online or have been set up with on a blind date, Lamb encourages making it both brief and with a specific location or time in mind. ” After that first date, send a simply stated follow-up email, like: “That was fun” or “I enjoyed meeting you, let’s do it again.” At this early stage of the dating game, it’s never a bad idea to remain slightly distant to see how things play out, Lamb says: “Remember, move slowly so as not to communicate in a way that misleads or confuses a potential mate!
She suggests emailing your date and writing something along the lines of, “How about having a cup of coffee at (location)? ” If you’ve only engaged in an email-based relationship with someone, Lamb says it’s perfectly fine to end things the same way with that person.
” Lastly, steer clear of using words and phrases you saw in others’ profiles that are overused or that you found smacked of insincerity, as others will interpret your use of them in the same way. However, if you prefer to respond more directly, she suggests that a “Thanks for your email, I’m flattered, but I don’t think we’re compatible” response is perfectly appropriate and respectful.
Better to find out that someone’s not right for you through these early email conversations than later, while you’re face-to-face at dinner.
Instead, inquire about that photo she posted of herself standing atop a mountain: “Looks like you enjoy the outdoors! ” Or, if he’s dressed as Elvis on a day that’s clearly not Halloween, write: “Wow, I guess Elvis really isn’t dead!
Are you a huge fan of the King, or do you make your living as an impersonator?
“Of course, you should be factual and write about aspects of yourself that you consider deal-makers or breakers,” Lamb advises.
For example, if you love dogs and own two of them, include that information to attract like-minded matches and weed out the rest.