List of rules for dating my teenage daughter

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.

If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.

Pupils spend from 9am to 3.15pm in the room in complete silence, doing schoolwork at desks facing the walls with just 20 minutes for lunch. For calls of nature, they need to see the pastoral carer and be accompanied to the toilet. It made me feel awful just being in there and I know there are a lot of other pupils who feel the same.

Miss Allen added: ‘As a mother, I ask myself “Would I be happy to punish my daughter in that way? I don’t like being out of school because I want to learn and pass my GCSEs but there is no way I can go back to that school.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.

This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.

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