Chats for bipolar and adult add
ADHD can be a reason for past behaviors, but should not be an excuse for continuing them into the future..for becoming an enabler to truly abysmal behavior.I hope that understanding that ADHD is playing a role will help you forgive yourself and him for the poor interactions you've had together, and move forward in a way that is healthy for you.And the people around them get the fallout - collateral damage. Knowing he has it made it easier to forgive some of this stuff, but at a certain point, when they deny diagnosis and treatment and just continue to abuse (and even threaten) you - you just have to get them out of your life.
We have had a rocky marriage, which I have just (in the past year... (Our 32 year old son is a "classic" case as well, which made me look at myself!!) I'm just posting this so that people with extreme ADHD partners can recognize that some of these people will have developed strong habits of coping by using people - especially their partner - to avoid dealing with their own ADHD.Sometimes you can be the most amazing person, and try everything on that list of 50 things - (including backing off) - and nothing will work - you'll just get played. Especially the impulsive, doing things without thinking of consequences, that ruined my trust for him.And his enablers, his family, are not helping either. After giving him chances --- marriage counseling and seek professional help with his ADD, he wasn't really taking any medicine, nor therapy, or whatever.So the more he gets support, the more he thinks he don't need help. Too late to " understand ", when damages are done and too much hurt, especially emotionally. And he stopped the counseling and refused to be treated.